May232013
Sometimes you do the sweetest things. Like cook dinner for me.But I don’t know if that’s something we are supposed to do for each other. I opened up soo much with you I tried to show you who I am hoping you would take me for the good and the bad. We been through a lot of things. I have did a lot of bad things and I admit that, but my intentions were not on purpose. Never in my life would I ever want to hurt you, but for some reason I think you don’t believe I will never hurt you because of the mistakes that I’ve made. I always try to recover from the mistakes, but I am human sometimes when I’m angry I say things that I do not mean. But you never forgive me. I forgave you when you insulted me, chastised me, and yelled at me like I was a kid. You took out your anger on me, but for some reason you do not see your mistakes. You think I am difficult, but I don’t see it. I just wanted to be treated nicely. And i know I haven;t been the greatest, but when I’m good I am good. I put my whole heart in it and I fall on my face. This would be one of the times.
Maybe we have tried to work this out too many times and it will no longer work. I admit Im in love with you and you are not in love with me. The things you say to me can be so hurtful, but I forgive you. Now I am tired. I am tired, yes I did wrong things, but so have you. Im hurt because I thought you changed and you did maybe I unchanged you and if that is the case then Im not right for you. I have to accept that no matter how hard I cry or how much I want this. Some things are meant to be. Just because you ;love someone doesn’t mean that person is right for you. Im not saying this should be easy, but this shouldn’t be this hard either. Maybe I will take all that you said and make me a better person for the next, Until then I will try to put you out of my head as you did me and move on. My friends told me to be careful and I didn’t listen. Ha. I always said he is special, but IDK anymore. I want someone to love me like I love them for once and not treat me wrong. Maybe its ME
From,
The girl with the Broken Heart
2PM
Lovely Hill
But I also love with all my heart. I love you with all my heart I would give you my all. I want to see you as happy as you make me. I dive in deep and don’t hold my breath and Sometimes I drown. (metaphor) lol.
And sometimes I forget to catch my breath forgetting to just breathe and not rush everything all at once.Forgetting to tell myself that great things take time and everything needs a foundation to build on. so it doesn’t crumble as soon as it is defeated. Which you have been PREACHING TO ME THIS WHOLE TIME. (ik ik)
I want this (us) soooo bad, but I realize and i know you realize that I have a lot to work on with myself, my past included. I see myself as loving and caring person and I want you to see that in me.
I want to be everything your heart desires. I want to work on myself for me so there can be a better US. Things that last doesn’t come easy. I want to and will continue to work on myself with you. All I can hope for is that You and I will work on ourselves so one day we can be an US, if God allows.
I say all of this to say I understand, it takes me awhile, but I understand. I hope you have enough patience with me as I do with you, I’m trying. I’m really trying and Its not all words. I will show you the finish product, you will see
May222013
All of my friends are telling me this guy isn’t good for me. I need a lot of reassurance or Do I? I mean every girl wants to be called beautiful and know that they are constantly on someone’s mind. That’s how its supposed to be. I want love, the felling of someone being soo adorned with me they can’t take their eyes off of me. I want someone to drop everything they are doing and listen to me even if I’m babbling, tripping, or being overly emotional. Lol Is that too much to ask? I feel like it is because I can’t seem to find it.
I believe I look for the good in everyone. Trying to find love and that person who adorns me like I adorn them. Feels crazy. Maybe I fall to easy. Maybe its best that I don’t fall at all. I just sit quietly and patiently. People long to be love. Here I am 21 years old and I am trying to find love. Maybe its not that I’m trying to love, I’m trying to find comfort. I put to much of myself in the hands of another person.
March222013
i’m feeling kind of upset and angry !!!!!!!!!! I don’t know why. Ehhhhh I feel like yelling. I want to release what I’m feeling out, but its like a huge block in my throat and my stomach. Oh how I’m sooo angry but IDK at what. Idk at what.
